CLEARing Impatience

The Scene

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Evan taps the steering wheel as the traffic light turns red again.

Third time.

Same intersection.

 

He glances at the clock.

He’d left early...but not “early enough,” apparently.

Every minute feels like a warning shot.

 

He knows how this goes.

One delay leads to another.

He’ll walk in rushed, flustered, and not in the right headspace.

 

He sighs and shakes his head.

“Unbelievable. Every single light.”

“Of course today’s the day the universe decides to mess with me.”

“This shouldn’t be happening. I did everything right.”

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His chest tightens.

 

The morning was supposed to go smoothly.

He did his part.

But now the world isn’t cooperating, and it feels personal.

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The Claim

 

Evan’s driving belief is:

“If I prepare and plan ahead, things should go my way.”

 

It sounds fair. Even responsible.

 

But what’s driving his impatience isn’t the delay itself. It’s the expectation that planning should guarantee results, and the frustration when life doesn’t follow the script.

 

 

 

The Lie

 

That belief feels logical. But it carries distortion beneath the surface:

 

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Should statements

Evan assumes that good preparation should eliminate problems. But life doesn’t operate on “should.”

The world isn’t broken because the lights didn’t sync with his schedule.

 

Evan thinks, “This shouldn’t be happening! I planned everything right.”

But this is a special kind of distorted thinking often called the control fallacy, or what we might call a false demand for control.

It assumes that if he does everything correctly, the world should cooperate.

 

But Reason reminds us: we don’t control outcomes, only our responses.

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And when we waste our energy demanding that things go a certain way, we lose sight of what is within our control: whether we respond with Virtue.

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Catastrophizing

He imagines the whole day unraveling because of a short delay. But traffic isn’t doom. It’s just traffic.

 

 

Personalization

He interprets random inconvenience as something happening to him. But the universe isn’t targeting Evan. It’s not out to get him. It’s just being the universe.

Reason helps restore the balance. And with it, the truth becomes easier to see.

 

 

 

The Evidence

 

Evan did prepare.

He left earlier than usual.

He packed everything the night before.

He avoided distractions.

 

That’s all real.

 

But no amount of effort can control traffic patterns, red lights, or slow-moving trucks.

That’s life: alive, unpredictable, and outside his command.

 

And here’s the deeper truth: the delay doesn’t ruin the day.

It just challenges the mindset he brings into it.

 

If he arrives flustered, it’s not because of traffic. It’s because he believed delay equals failure.

But it doesn’t.

 

Evan can walk in composed.

Not because the morning was perfect—but because he chose steadiness when it wasn’t.

 

 

 

The Alternative

 

His original thought was:

“I did everything right...this shouldn’t be happening!”

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But a more honest and empowering view would be:

 

“I prepared well. This delay doesn’t define the day.”

Or:

“Some things are out of my control, but my mindset isn’t one of them.”

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That shift makes all the difference.

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The Role of Reason

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The light turns green.

Evan exhales.

 

He doesn’t floor it.

He doesn’t stew.

He just drives.

 

Reason tells him the truth: frustration won’t speed things up.

But patience might steady the rest of his day.

 

That’s a better trade.

 

Impatience wants to make every delay feel like an insult.

Reason knows better.

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Another Face of Impatience

 

Impatience doesn’t always show up in external delays.
Sometimes it shows up in the mirror.

So let’s walk through one more scenario, and apply the CLEAR method to find our way through it.

 

 

 

The Scene

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Julian exhales hard and closes the fitness app.

He’s been consistent...more consistent than ever.

Early workouts.

Cleaner meals.

Less sugar.

No alcohol.

 

Four straight weeks.

 

And still… barely any change.

The scale? Down just one pound.
The mirror? Looks the same.
The gut feeling? This isn’t working.

 

He tosses his gym bag in the corner and stares at the wall.

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"Why bother if nothing changes?"
"I should’ve made more progress by now."
"I guess I’m just not cut out for this."

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It’s not rage. It’s erosion.

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A quiet anger. Not at anyone else, but at time, at effort, at himself.

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The Claim

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Julian’s core belief is simple:

“I’ve done my part, but it’s not paying off.”

 

It sounds reasonable. Fair, even.

But frustration has a way of making temporary things feel final, and that’s where the trouble begins.

 

 

 

The Lie

 

Julian’s thought might feel accurate, but it’s built on distortion.

Should statements
He tells himself what “should” be happening by now. But that expectation is based on impatience, not evidence. No one promised a transformation in four weeks. The timeline is imagined.

 

 

All-or-Nothing Thinking

Because the change is slower than hoped, he’s tempted to throw out the whole effort. But progress doesn’t always announce itself. It often builds quietly...then shows up all at once.

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Labeling

“I’m not cut out for this.” One slow stretch, and he’s ready to define himself as a failure. That’s not honesty, it’s just  undue harshness.

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Emotional Reasoning

He feels stuck, so he concludes he is stuck. But feelings aren’t final verdicts. They’re just signals.

 

If all of that were true, quitting might make sense.

 

But Reason holds up a mirror of its own, and shows a different picture.

 

 

 

The Evidence

 

Let’s slow it down.

 

Julian has stuck to his plan longer than he ever has before.

That alone is progress. Real, visible, meaningful.

 

The body often takes time to reflect inner change.

The first improvements might not show up on the scale or in the mirror, but they’re there: better sleep, sharper focus, fewer cravings, more energy.

These aren’t small things.

They’re signs of something shifting at the root.

 

And even if the physical results seem delayed, the discipline is already being built.

 

That’s the part that lasts longer than any surface-level result.

 

He isn’t failing. He’s forging.

 

 

 

The Alternative

 

The original thought was:

“I should be further along by now.”

 

But a more accurate and empowering view would be:

 

“Change is happening...even if it’s slower than I want. And I’m not stopping.”

Or:

“This path is working. I don’t need instant results to keep walking it.”

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That’s what changes the story.

Not denial.

Not blind optimism.

 

Just clarity.

 

 

 

The Role of Reason

 

Julian pauses.

 

He sees what’s happening: the work is real, the timeline is not.

The scale might be still, but his effort isn’t.

 

Reason reminds him that impatience is a trick of the moment.

It says, “Give up, because you haven’t won yet.”

 

But Julian knows better now.

 

He doesn’t give up.
He regroups.
He continues.

 

 

 

Final Reflection

 

Impatience lies.

 

It says time is your enemy.
That waiting means weakness.
That delay means doom.

 

But the truth?

 

Time is the forge.

 

And a man of Virtue knows:
You don’t rush steel.
You refine it.

 

With each quiet hour.
With each faithful step.
With each choice to keep going, even before the reward has come.

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