How Much Weight Should You Give Criticism From Someone You Respect?

Criticism from a man you respect can carry more weight than he intended. A colleague says you come across as evasive, and the word sends you back through months of conversations. There’s a smaller question that deserves an answer first. What did he see or hear that gave him that impression?

Ask for an instance. Suppose he says that when a colleague asked whether you would finish something by Thursday, you talked about your schedule and never answered. You can examine that. If you knew the answer was no and hoped he would infer it, your critic has pointed out a real fault. If the date depended on parts that hadn’t arrived, you may have been right to withhold a promise. You still might have owed the man a clearer answer about what was uncertain and when you would know.

Consider what the critic is in a position to know. A longtime colleague may know how your replies land with people who depend on you. His impression of why you answer the way you do is a further claim. You have evidence there too. A single case can show you that you handled a conversation poorly. A pattern across several cases can show you a habit worth changing. The word “evasive” on its own leaves both questions open.

Thank him for telling you if he spoke in good faith. Then take the part you can substantiate and work with it. The next time a man asks for a deadline, tell him first what you can commit to. If that addresses the problem, the criticism has done its work without becoming a verdict on every conversation you’ve ever had.