Regret Is a Trick Your Brain Plays on You

Updated: Apr 23

You can’t change the past.

But that hasn’t stopped your brain from trying.

You replay it. Rethink it. Rewrite it.

You ask what you should have said, what you should have done.

You punish yourself for not knowing then what you know now.

But regret isn’t clarity.

It’s a mental trap disguised as reflection.

The Illusion of Control

We treat the past like it’s still on the table—like it’s just waiting for us to make the right move this time.

But it’s not.

The moment is gone.

The only thing that remains is the *idea* of it—and your imagination is the one reshaping it.

Cognitive psychology calls this *rumination*.

Seneca would call it suffering twice.

Feeling regret doesn’t mean you’re virtuous.

It doesn’t mean you care more.

It usually just means your brain is stuck—trying to reclaim a sense of control through hindsight.

Reason doesn’t demand regret.

It demands understanding—so you can live better now.

When regret hits, try this:

- Acknowledge it: Yes, I would do things differently now.

- Question it: Was I acting with the tools I had at the time?

- Redirect it: How can I live by those better tools today?

That’s how virtue grows—not by circling the past, but by facing forward with clearer eyes.

You can’t rewrite the past.

But you can decide what to carry forward.

Regret invites you to relive a moment that no longer exists.

Wisdom invites you to learn from it—and move.

Not by punishing yourself.

But by living more clearly today.

That’s the real correction.