The Poison of Gossip — And the Man Who Refuses to Spread It
- The Path Team
- Apr 29
- 3 min read
Updated: May 4
Most men don’t think of themselves as gossips.
That word sounds weak—like something other people do.
But gossip often slips in unnoticed: in the form of a clever remark, a knowing smirk, or a "concerned" comment passed around like currency.
It feels small. But it isn’t.
Because gossip is a violation of Justice.
It passes judgment on a man who isn’t there to speak.
It trades truth for entertainment.
It elevates your own status by quietly cutting someone else’s down.
Even if what you say is true, if you're only saying it to elevate yourself or to tear someone else down, you're not helping. You're harming. You're not solving a problem. You're feeding one.
Why We Do It Anyway
There’s a rush to gossip.
A little spark of satisfaction.
You’ve seen behind the curtain.
You’ve got information others don’t.
And you can feel close to the people you tell—like you’re on the inside now.
But it’s fake closeness.
Built on a shared act of betrayal.
Built on labeling, not understanding.
What It Does to Others
It’s called character assassination for a reason.
You’re not just passing along a harmless detail.
You’re weakening someone’s standing—chipping away at their name, their dignity, their reputation.
And you’re doing it when they’re not even in the room.
No chance to defend themselves. No shot to speak.
That’s not strength.
That’s not leadership.
That’s not what a real man does.
It’s the move of a man who wants to feel powerful—without ever risking a real fight.
All show.
No spine.
Does that sound like someone to respect?
Is that the kind of man you want to be?
(If that strikes a nerve, you might want to read Fog on the Path — Labeling about the danger of defining people too quickly.)
What Gossip Does to You
If the harm it does to others isn't enough to give you pause, consider this:
Every time you share gossip, you weaken yourself.
You train your mind to look for what’s wrong with others instead of what’s right.
You teach yourself to bond through mockery or resentment instead of shared purpose.
You erode your own dignity—and the trust of those around you.
What to Do Instead
Pause. Just one second of silence is enough to stop the reflex.
Ask: Would I say this to him directly? If not, why not?
Protect. Speak in a way that leaves others’ reputations intact—even when they’re not around.
Reframe. Look deeper. Ask yourself: Wouldn’t you rather be the protector of someone’s dignity than the cause of their pain?
These aren’t new ideas.
They are echoed in some of the most respected sources of moral wisdom.
The Biblical book of Proverbs, for example, warned thousands of years ago:
“A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.”“Whoever conceals a matter promotes love, but whoever repeats it separates close friends.”— Proverbs 11:13; 17:9
The pattern hasn’t changed.
Even if you mean no harm—those are still the results.
The Triple Filter
There’s a test you're likely familiar with, often called the Triple Filter:
Is it true? Is it useful? Is it kind?
Before you speak—especially about someone else—we can run our words through those three questions.
Most gossip fails the test.
It might be true, but not useful. It might be useful, but not kind. And sometimes, it’s none of the above.
If it can’t pass even one of those filters, then it probably isn’t worth saying—at least not in the way you're about to say it.
The goal isn’t to be soft. It’s to be just.
To speak with clarity and conscience, not impulse.
A Better Way
There is power in restraint.
A man who doesn’t gossip may not get quick laughs or insider clout.
But he gets something far better: trust.
People feel safe around him.
They can speak freely, without wondering what parts of their life might get traded for social capital.
That kind of man is rare.
Because it’s hard.
But that’s why it matters.
Let the world rip itself apart with whispers and rumors.
You’ve got a Path to walk
.And your words?
They should never tear down—only build up.