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What If the Voice of Anxiety Isn’t Yours?

Updated: Apr 23


You ever catch yourself spiraling, man?


You know — that moment when one small thought triggers a cascade.

“What if I forgot something?”

“What if they’re mad at me?”

“What if this is all falling apart and I just don’t see it yet?”


It feels so real.

But here’s the thing:


Just because a thought comes from inside your head…

Doesn’t mean it belongs to you.


We’ll come back to that in a minute.


Because if you’ve ever felt like your mind is your enemy, there’s a reason — and there’s a way out.



Not Broken — Just A Little Bent


Cognitive psychology has a name for the kind of thoughts that seem convincing, but quietly distort reality.

They’re called cognitive distortions — patterns where our thinking gets bent just slightly off course.

Not because we’re foolish, but because we’ve learned the wrong lesson somewhere along the way — or we’ve applied a good rule too broadly, too rigidly, or in the wrong situation.


These thoughts don’t show up waving red flags.

They show up sounding like common sense.

But the more we buy into them, the more anxious, discouraged, and reactive we become.



This Is Where the Ancient Stuff Comes In


The Stoics — guys like Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius — didn’t have the language of neuroscience.

But they knew the mind could betray itself.

They taught that peace comes from examining the thought, not just reacting to it.


“If you are pained by any external thing, it is not this thing that disturbs you — but your judgment about it.”

— Marcus Aurelius


You’re not your thoughts.

You’re the one who evaluates them.



A Practical Frame: Ask the Right Questions


When anxiety grabs hold, it’s tempting to try and fight the feeling directly.

But often, the better move is to step back and examine the thought behind the feeling.


We’ve found it helpful to ask:


- “Is this reasonable?”

- “Is this a rule I’ve applied too broadly?”

- “Would I say this to someone I care about?”

- “What’s the actual evidence for this thought?”


The goal isn’t to silence every worry.

It’s to challenge the thought that’s feeding it.



Final Thought


Anxiety feels powerful because it feels like you.

It uses your voice.

It wears your memories.

It knows what buttons to press.


And that’s why it’s so hard to push back.


But here’s what we said earlier — and here’s what I want you to really sit with:


Just because a thought comes from inside your head doesn’t mean it belongs to you.


You didn’t choose it.

You didn’t build it from scratch.

Most of the time, it’s just an echo — a reflex, built from years of habit, fear, and noise you didn’t ask for.


But you’re not stuck with it.


You can take a step back, look at it, and ask,

“Do I have to keep believing this?”


And in that moment — not when the fear is gone, not when everything’s perfect, but right then

you’re no longer just reacting.


You’re practicing strength.

The kind that lasts.


That’s how it starts.



 
 

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