“Here We Go Again...”
In the fog, it all starts to look the same. One bump, one turn, and your brain says, “Here we go again.”
What Over-Generalizing Looks Like
Over-generalizing happens when you take one negative experience and decide that it represents everything: your future, your identity, or your relationships.
You stumble once giving a speech and think, "I'm terrible at public speaking."
You get rejected by one woman and conclude, "I'm just not meant to be loved."
You have one bad day at work and tell yourself, "I'm failing at life."
Instead of treating setbacks as isolated events, your mind paints them as permanent patterns.
This reflection is one stop along the Fog on the Path series. To begin the journey at its true starting point, Start Here.
Why the Mind Slips Into It
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Fear response. One bad outcome can feel so painful that the mind rushes to "predict" future pain and tries to shield itself.
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Pattern-hunting instinct. Humans naturally look for patterns, even where none exist, because spotting trends once helped survival.
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Availability bias. Negative memories are often louder and easier to recall than positive ones, so the mind assumes they represent reality.
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Emotional reinforcement. When you’re discouraged, your mind scans memory and imagination for more "evidence" that things are hopeless.
(Many believe these habits come from a mix of emotional learning, survival reflexes, and how the mind naturally favors vivid memories. For a deeper look at where wrong thinking comes from, read Where Wrong Thinking Comes From)
But Reason reminds us:
One wrong turn doesn’t erase the whole journey.
One storm doesn't mean the sun is gone forever.
The Hidden Price You Pay
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Fixed identity. You start labeling yourself based on one or two setbacks.
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Loss of resilience. You give up faster, believing effort won’t change anything.
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Damaged relationships. You stop trusting others...or yourself...based on isolated moments.
When you mistake one broken board for the whole bridge falling, you miss the chance to simply repair and keep walking.
Working Through It: What Often Helps
Many men find it helpful to check their thinking with a few steady questions when over-generalizing creeps in:
1. Catch the Sweeping Statement. Listen for phrases like always, never, everyone, no one, I’m just...
2. Spot the Distortion. Remind yourself: "One experience doesn't define my whole story."
3. Examine the Evidence. Ask: "Does this one event truly represent the whole?"
- Finding even one example can contradict a sweeping wrong belief.
4. Reframe It. Shift the narrative:
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"That moment went badly...but that doesn’t define me."
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"This setback shows one area to grow, not my entire worth."
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"Successes have happened too...and will happen again."
5. Bring in Reason. Step back and ask: "What is the bigger truth beyond this one event?"
Reason pulls you out of the fog by restoring scale, proportion, and hope.
Simple Practice
When you catch yourself generalizing from a bad moment:
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Pause and remind yourself: "This is one page, not the whole story."
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Name one example: a time when things worked out differently than your fear predicted.
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Name one strength: a skill, habit, or resource you still have that makes progress possible.
Even doing this silently pulls your mind back toward clarity.
Your story is bigger than one bad chapter, and Reason can still guide the next steps forward.
Closing Thought
When the fog is thick, one fallen branch can seem like proof that the whole forest has collapsed.
But travelers who see clearly know:
A stumble is not a sentence.
A moment is not a life.
Step over, step around, step forward...through the fog, toward the truth.
Once you see every failure as a pattern, it’s easy to start believing you’re falling behind...no matter where you really stand.